a column by I Wayan Juniartha
Translated by Putu Semiada
Balinese Cakes
We have a question here: Why are Balinese cakes less popular than western ones?
“Please don’t compare Balinese cakes with western ones. They are even nothing compared to Javanese cakes,” I Made Kliad Kliud says.
Since the arak oplosan case, the members of the local drinking club now prefer having coffee. As coffee only matches with cakes, instead of baked spiced meat (pesan), steamed chopped meat (tum), they are all talking about traditional cakes.
Why do you think Balinese cakes are less popular than Javanese ones, Dé? I Wayan Ajeg Bali asks.
When talking about Bali, he becomes a fanatic one. Wayan always assume that everything Balinese is the best. Things not Balinese are considered as inferior. That’s why we call them ‘dauh tukad’ (lit: west of river, meaning outside Bali), instead of ‘duur langit’ (above the sky).
Why did you pretend you know nothing? Don’t you know about laklak masebun Banyuwangi ane nyangluh muduhin (lit: delicious Balinese cake with Banyuwangi flavour, meaning young ‘Banyuwangi chicks’),” I Made asks.
Everybody is laughing loudly. They know that I Made has dirty mind. Every time he talks something, he will relate it to something porn.
“It is common, you know, that Balinese cakes are related to something porn. Haven’t you heard the song ‘jaja uli, jaja gina satuh-satuh’ (meaning ‘a pussy is supposed to be f-cked),” I Made keeps talking.
The conversation is getting exciting. It looks like presidential political debate; they are just talking one to another, but not debating. They just agree what the other says. Not exciting at all.
“Balinese cakes need diversification,” I Made further says.
The flavours are very limited because of the ingredients: sticky rice, rice, Balinese sugar, coconut, bananas, jackfruit and artificial colours. If the person is creative, he or she will add something different.
“Look at western food, say, donut. You know, it even can have 50 different flavours! Chocolate, cheese, green tea, strawberry, blueberry, etc. Too many that I can’t mention all one by one. My tongue stuck having said too many English words.
And look also their colours. Many different colours. Very beautiful. And look also how beautiful their packs.
“But klepon…..you know, it you don’t eat it in one day……….it will be sour. Also, donut can stand for weeks if you put in the fridge, and it’s still okay. That’s why when you buy something for gift, you buy Roti Boy, Dunkin Donut, and J.Co,” I Made keeps talking.
The Balinese cakes are placed at the corners and used only for offerings and to be eaten when you drink coffee at home. But please don’t ask for klepon when you are having coffee at malls, restaurants or cafés.
“The Balinese cakes are like our wives at home, they don’t like ‘dress up’, and rarely take a bath properly, not fashionable. So let them just stay home.
“You need to look attractive, fashionable and clean when you go out that people will adore you.
“I can say that western cakes are like prostitutes; they look attractive, modern and up to date.”
However when you are sick of modern things, tired of style, you will return home to your wife and eat traditional Balinese cakes (klepon, laklak, iwel and satuh).
Glossary:
I Made Kliad Kliud: always stretch his body slowly
I Wayan Ajeg Bali: love Balinese culture.
