Upskirt intrusion

New court date for Ako

My own private Bosnia

SMS sent on 26th Feb 2009: It’s 22.00 hrs and the ghastly cacophony of new age psycho Kerala-modern, electric-orchestral theme music for “ATTACK ON THE TAJ BOMBAY” booms out below the beautiful bay windows of my five room Rembrandt Suite in the Palace Wing of the Bolgatty Palace Suite on Bolgatty Island in Kochin.

500 Indian architects and interior designers are milling below fighting for ghee at the banks of bains marie as a Biafran display of fireworks threatens to burn the place down. They are all here for the ZONE LEISURE conference for which my lecture POST-ZEN DEPRESSION is billed as SOUTH LEISURE ZONE FOR SPOUSES AND CHILDREN. I think I will deliver my address from the balcony, like a papal homily, and then leave by helicopter.

Same-Sex Wedding in Bali

As published on www.BaliPost.com




On Wednesday 15th October a same-sex wedding took place in Pupuan Sawah (Tabanan District) between a Dutch couple, Hendricus Johannes Deijkers and Christianus Huijbregts.

It was a Hindu style wedding ceremony, the first Hindu style same-sex wedding to take place in Bali. During the ceremony; which was attended by a crowd of people from the surrounding area; the priest also inscribed the holy letter/symbol on the newly weds tongues with a smoldering incense stick.

The couple appeared very happy as they showed off their 'suddi wadani' certificate issued by the PHDI (Hindu Organisation).

translate by Dirk W. Gastmans and Andi L. Jayadinata

Wasgul Preman Poteh (Bali's Haolé Hells Angels)

Winner of "This Month's Most-Offensive Newsletter to Indonesians"

From: Wijaya
Date: Sat, Sep 27, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS!!
Re: BuGils Bali newsletter: Bank staff prefers carreer in new BuGils Bali bar
To: unibind (at) ***.net.id
Cc: Putu Semiada, Putu Suasta , Wayan Juniarta

DEAR BLURRY-EYED SUPER-BULE,

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have won this month's BALILUWIH.BLOGSPOT's Bule Brengsek of the Month Award for your degrading portrayal of Indonesians as only beer bigots and bargirl slags.

(Imagine how an English-speaking Indonesian would feel reading a newsletter like yours, you big Yob!!)

FYI: Baliluwih's Divisi WasgulBuleBrengsek Division is dedicated to shining a spotlight on expatriate comercial yobbism (PELECEHAN CITRA INDONESIA). The name BUGILz might be amusing, but your cheap promotional newsletter smacks of white supremacy and colonialism.

Yours sincerely,

Pintor B. Sirait

Patron
Baliluwih.blogspot.com

--- On Fri, 26/9/08, Bartele <bartele (at) bugils.com> wrote:
From: Bartele
Subject: BuGils Bali newsletter: Bank staff prefers carreer in new BuGils Bali bar
To: Wijaya
Received: Friday, 26 September, 2008, 2:07 PM

Dear Friends,

Finally a newsletter again! Yes, you are still on the list.

A lot of things have happened since I last wrote you about my search for the Jakarta house where Obama once lived. Last week I went back and I actually found it. I am now negotiating with the landlord to see if I can open a 'Sweet Home Obama Bar' there.

The current owner his name is Abu Bakar, so I don't think I will be able to sell a lot of beer there. But a coffees and a few stroopwafels -Half white, half chocolat - will do.

Open this newsletter and stay tuned to the news in Indonesia! Life is only getting better here!!

In this newsletter my story about our first BuGils Bali customer (ps. BuGils Jakarta stays open till the end of the year) and links to other interesting stories.

Enjoy!
http://bugilsbali.com/news/newsletter1.html

OUR FIRST CUSTOMER

A few weeks ago I opened another bar, this time in Bali. After months of delays and stress, it was a special moment to finally see the first customer coming in. The newly hired staff was nervous of course, especially with their grumpy boss sitting at the bar. With established businesses absorbing most experienced staff during Bali’s current tourist boom, I had been forced to hire unskilled staff. Most could not speak a word of English, but then, neither could most of my staff during the early years of BuGils in Jakarta.

Even with the colorful and somewhat controversial BuGils neon sign shining on Jalan Dewi Sartika for an hour no one paid us any attention. I had another beer, and another, and, worse yet, started worrying. Could the location be wrong? Would the concept have no appeal? I shifted to wine. Another hour went by. The tension degraded from nervousness to a studied boredom. I noticed the waitresses covertly checking their handphones. Kitchen staff peeked through the service window.

The afternoon was hot and busloads of tourists, fresh from the plane, were passing by, eyes wide open, necks craning as they relished the novety of their new environment. I paced the terrace and wanted to shout: ‘BUGIIIILS!’, but no, I am Frisian. We do not express our emotions that easily and I retreated again to the bar.

I shifted to Captain Morgan rum coke. ‘Captain siapa!?’ asked the waitress in unbelief. I pointed at the bottle. She grabbed it slowly and looked at it carefully. ‘Oooh....’, she said. She now understood that Captain Morgan is a drink, not some dissolute expat. The other girls approached and examined the label as well. I said nothing. The three waitresses looked around for the appropriate glass for Captain Morgan. One raised a high ball glass and the others nodded in agreement. While one poured, the others regarded the exacting pouring process, then me, and back again. She filled the glass to the rim, before realising that she had left not space for the ice and coke. When I silently pointed to the jigger, she realized her mistake and started pouring the good Captain back into the bottle. This was good entertainment, at least better than staring at an empty bar. I SMSed Widi, my star bartender from BuGils Jakarta, and offering her a paid ‘vacation’ in Bali.

Suddenly the girls froze and looked at the entrance. I turned as well. Our first customer had just walked in. He was a westerner in his mid thirties, carrying a backpack, He stopped and looked around. The kitchen boys crowded around the service window. The tourist hesitated, uncomfortable being the center of attention.

‘You have food?’, he asked. There was a long silence. Then I realized the staff didn’t understand him. ‘Yes! Please sit down!’ , I replied. He shed his heavy backpack and sat down in a corner near the window, facing away from the bar – and the many staring faces.

He ordered a steak. ‘APA!?’ Lulu her reaction was not just an ‘apa, excuse me?’, no, it was a loud and full on ‘APA!?’ The man was not sure if he had said something wrong, and with some uneasiness he repeated his order, softly with a heavy Australian accent: ‘Steak... Well done, please...’. Lulu bowed forward as if she had problems hearing the poor man. ‘APA!? MELBOURNE..!?’ Lulu had had a career as a salesperson for BCA credit cards or something, but because she didn’t speak English her contract was not extended. She laughed of her own reaction. Now all the girls where laughing. Lulu will do fine in BuGils, I thought. With the help of one experienced waitress our first customer was served his well-done steak.

I am not sure if he will ever come back, considering a dozen staff members stared as he ate. No matter. The staff had served their first customer and received their first tip. I finished late that night, with a cognac in my hand on the terrace. Another BuGils Baby was born.

Bus loads with tourists passed by in the direction of the airport. The eyes of the tourists were tired, their chins drooping. I noticed, in the bright bus light, that their faces were sunburned. They were on their way home. I don’t know why, but I scraped my throat and shouted, as hard as I could: ‘BUGIIIIIILS!’. Three of the eight staff members did not return the following day, probably thinking that their boss was not only a drunk, but a Bule Gila as well. One day I have to jump on that bus out of here, but for now, even though my eyes look tired, my chin is still raised.

Hope to see you soon in BuGils Bali. Try the steak. Lulu will serve it to you ‘Melbourne’...

Bartele -- visit www.bugilsbali.com

Source: http://bugilsbali.com/news/newsletter1.html

Last Nyonya in Captivity, now at Villa Bebek

Playboy Calendar 2009 - SNEAK PREVIEW

We not alone,girl...dey walk along among us!!