Taken from ‘Bungklang Bungkling’, ‘Kiamat’, a column by I Wayan Juniartha, as published in Bali Post, Sunday, 6th December 2009. Translated by Putu Semiada
DOOMSDAY
Everybody seems nervous having heard about the doomsday 2012. And it will be in two years. The drinking club members hold a special meeting to discuss it, especially about arisan* and asset claims.
“It’s my turn to have the arisan by that time. What can I do? Doomsday doesn’t have to eliminate my right, does it? Because it won’t be fair,” says I Made Basang Bedag (I Wayan Bali Belly).
Wayan is a type of person who always fights for his right. But when it comes to ‘duty’, he will be ignorant. Actually when one of the members gets the arisan, he will get 20 bottles of palm toddy, instead of money.
“How come you are so naïve, just because of 20 bottles of palm toddy. We want to discuss an urgent issue, about the doomsday. I wonder who will inherit our habit of drinking palm toddy,” I Wayan Injun Punyah (I Wayan Crazy Drunker) interrupts.
The others just nod. They agree that it is an urgent issue. If they don’t care, then who else?
“We should make a special committee to discuss this and we should appoint a chairman. When we have come into an agreement, we should hold a ‘plenary meeting’,” adds Wayan.
Wayan speaks as if he is in the Legislative Assembly. It seems that Indonesians are quick learners. Meanwhile the members of Legislative Assembly are busy preparing a Questionnaire Special Committee. Questionnaire right is aimed at questioning the Vice President and Minister of Financial. The Legislative Assembly members think that they can fire them. If they succeed, another two important political positions will be available. And this will increase their bargaining position to the ruling elites. This should be done before 2012 so they can ‘take back’ what they have spent during their campaign.
Not only the drinking club members get confused of news on the doomsday, but the ground spirits also. Hence the ‘Bali Ground Spirits Association’ holds a meeting in relation to the doomsday.
“The ‘ground spirits’ in Bali of course enjoy natural disasters; either floods or earthquakes. But they don’t want doomsday happens,” says Kala Dini Kala Ditu (The Spirit Here and There), the chairman of the association.
Their members give applause to their chairman for what he says.
“The more natural disasters happen, the happier they are because every time a natural disaster happens, the Balinese will hold caru or tawur (offerings to appease ground spirits). Hence, if the doomsday really happens, who will ever appease them?
All the members of ground spirit association nod. They all agree on one thing: they have to prevent the doomsday. But how can they do this? The only way is by asking the Balinese to carry out a very very big tawur ceremony in Bali.
Some of their members go and meet important leaders. One of them meets a religious leader who often asks the local government to hold big religious ceremonies, another meets one of the local officials who often become a committee for religious ceremonies, another meets a young leader who act as if he is a reincarnation of a heavenly god. Hence everyone thinks that the world has gone crazy and a tawur that much much bigger than ever before must be held.
They might not aware that there has been a chaos in nirvana too, especially when the gods hear about the news on doomsday in 2012. It is God Siwa and Goddess Durga who get upset as doomsday is their business.
“Each of us has our own task. Brahma creates the world which now full of bad people, Wisnu look after them, and myself is to ‘finish’ bad people. So, who has dared to take over my task,” asks God Siwa while swinging his weapon (Trisula).
Every time He swings his Trisula, earthquakes happen everywhere. Once he swings it, big waves come, and even ice at north pool melts. At another time, he swings it three times, rain stops and no wind at all. That’s what we might call global warming. That’s what happens when God Siwa gets angry.
The other gods are scared. Everything can happen when God Siwa gets angry, even the doomsday.
“Which god dares to announce the doomsday? I will curse him,” say God Siwa angrily.
One by one the gods reports about the Mayan calendar which will out of date in 2012.
“Your Highness, they live in South America, so it’s not under jurisdiction of the gods in Bali. As their calendar out of date in 2012, many assume that the doomsday will happen in 2012. From my point of view, when a calendar out of date, we are supposed to make a new one,” says God Semara, who once was cursed by God Siwa to be dust.
Now it’s Goddess Durga who gets angry, she plans to come to South America and destroy the Mayan.
“It’s not really necessary, Your Highness, the Mayans have disappeared thousand years ago.
God Siwa and Goddess Durga can’t even say a word.
“The Mayan couldn’t even forecast their life, let alone forecast doomsday. Well, I need to take a rest now,” says God Siwa.
The nirvana returns to normal. But the world is still full of human beings holding tawurs, making special committees and getting drunk.
Glossary:
Arisan: regular social gathering whose members contribute to and take turns at winning an aggregate sum of money.
