a column by I Wayan Juniartha
Translated by Putu Semiada
DISPUTE
Why do you think the Balinese men like fighting when they have dispute among themselves? Sometimes a small dispute is solved by fighting. When a dispute can not be solved by discussion, it happens that they fight and even burn their enemy’s house.
“We have never been taught to solve a dispute by discussion or debate since we were children,” says I Nyoman Bungut Dogen.
That’s why when we have a dispute, we wouldn’t talk to each other. No dialog, only suspicious left.
“They think that solving a dispute by discussion is no good. When a man prefer discussion in solving a dispute with his enemy, he is considered has no gut or girlish.
That’s why nobody like dialog. They prefer not to talk to their enemy instead. When they see each other on they street, they wouldn’t even say hello. Instead, they would busy gossiping each other. They will also ‘curse’ their enemies and ask the gods to take their life.
As we all might note, the gods would never be on one’s side against the other, so any wish made for hurting others, will fail. If it does, they will talk something bad about their enemies and seeking partners to join them. Most of Balinese are afraid to fight alone, that’s why they need friends to join.
When ten people are talking something bad about others, we can not say it’s a dialog nor a discussion. The result would be just swearwords. The situation would be worse when they are drunk at the time. It will make them easier to run amuck.
Consequently, they will attack their enemy violently and even burn their houses. The people will get injured and the police will bust the doers. But the problem is not solved indeed, it might be getting bigger as there is a chance the enemy will take revenge. And when it comes, more people will get involved (family, villagers, etc.).
No matter how small the problem is, but when revenge involves, things become worse.
“Also the world now is full of bad temper people. When you are kind, preferring dialog to violence, they will take advantage on you,” says I Ketut Engkah Naga.
Today, when you want people listen to you, you have to show your ‘strong arm’. They might be afraid of you when they know you have ‘strong arm’, firm fist and temperamental.
“The problem is that when two strong but less educated people discuss, there is a possibility they will fight,” I Ketut says further.
Today nobody wants to be said ‘weak’. The world is full of bad people, everybody wants to show off. May be that’s why every dispute is solved with fighting, instead of discussion. And it’s difficult to discuss with such people.
It’s better for us to stay away from such people.
